Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Little Things

Its the little things i miss when i think of my best friend Yaicha.

It will be 3 years this Saturday since she left us , killed in a car crash...........she was on her way from Byron Bay to Sydney to come stay the weekend at my new flat. 
I had tried to make her promise not to drive alone, the road was wet and it was early morning.

When someone is taken from you in such a rough way, with force, and horror and no explanation it leaves scars on you soul and there are little things you cant forget.

I will never forget getting the phone call to tell me and the kind girl who sat next to me and comforted me on the 40 minute bus ride home. 
I will never forget the last phone call i made to her and the last text message she sent me. 

I will never forget how her father broke down when we arrived at their house, his exact words were "What took you so long" as his voice cracked and we all let go of some of the pain.  

I will never forget the words i spoke at her funeral, though i wrote them when i was drunk  and have not looked at them since, i can recite them almost word for word. I will always remember how cold it was while we said goodbye and how when we had finished the sun turned our way and it suddenly was warm again.

Its the little things that she left us that keep me together, its the ever enduring love for life she had that we all got to keep and share , its that beautiful laugh that i hear every now and then and when i least expect it. 

Its the shining golden blond hair of the niece she never got to meet, and the family that is now stronger and closer than ever before and that i love like my own.

Now its the little things that keep her close to me, signs that she is still here and present. 
A frangipani in my path, a song we used to love in our teenage years, a band we went to see together or nature discovered in an unexpected place. 

While i feel like i have lost a piece of myself with her, its the little things that start to fill that hole and make me sure that though she may be gone..........she is still here with me.

Carrying on with Pip's "Words and Pictures" Meme - This week its "The Little Things"

Many thanks to you Pip! Im finding this whole writing thing very cathartic.


meet me at mikes said...

Thanks for telling us how gorgeous she was. Thanks for getting the words out, because it's important to share the load a bit, sometimes, you know? Beautifully written from the heart. Thank you.

Nicola said...

Thanks Pip, im a bit teary knowing that someone has read this now, it's like another one of those little things. Knowing she's a bit more present and with me everytime she'd thought of or read about.

Thanks again.

Cloudbusting said...

what a beautiful tribute to a gorgeous friend! Thanks for sharing her story and yours.

Megan: The Byron Life said...

Oh Nicola. So beautiful.
How hard it can be to find words to express how much you miss someone when they go. Your words are perfect.

Selina said...

i also know that feeling. you expressed it so beautifully. thank you for sharing.

Stomper Girl said...

That was so sad but so beautifully expressed.

SweetPeaknits said...

A beautiful tribute to a beautiful friendship.

nicki said...

How amazing that in this world of blogs we all can share such important things, things with such personal meaning to us.
i lost a friend at the start of this year....it's what gave me the 'ooomph' to get on with my blog....and I miss her. And it's all those tiny moments that I remember about her that make me sad, or smile, or both.
Thanks for sharing your story. x

Maureen said...

Thank you Nicola for sharing your friend with us. I have never had someone close to me die but I can now imagine the gap that's left. (Odd that I just finished 'Belong to Me' which is, in part, about the death of a friend.)

Kirsty said...

Such a beautiful post Nicola.

Nicola said...

Thank you all so much for your lovely words and thoughts.

To know that my Girl has been in others thoughts even for just a second means a great deal to me and brings her closer to my heart.
Thank you again.........especially to those of you who are missing someone yourself.


Alisa : Ink Caravan said...

What a beautifully written tragedy. I so admire you Nicola for sharing such intensely personal moments. Thank you.

Jessi said...

How lucky she was to have a friend like you. You expressed that beautifully, which is often hard to do when writing about those that have left us. I am glad her spirit is still with you!! x